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Saturday, Sep 18, 2021

You Can Finally Type On The New Apple Watch

But how would you explain this miracle of technological sophistication to the simple people of the past?

Do you ever imagine what your great-great-grandparents would say if they could see an Apple Watch Series 7, which was announced today by Apple?

It’s hard to know. They probably died a long time ago. But they’d most likely be astounded.

First, they’d be amazed that the wrist-worn clocks that had become so fashionable toward the end of their lives were now everywhere. Second, they’d want to know everything about digital displays, including whether they were allowed according to traditional religious law. Third, they would probably have a long and confused conversation about the nature and meaning of the internet. Was it all really an intricate system of tubes?

Next, you might have to slowly explain the concept of physical fitness. To the extent such a thing existed for them, it would have come in the form of rushing up and down tenement stairs, attempting to sell root vegetables. You might gently point out that the Apple Watch Series 7 could calculate with unprecedented accuracy how many steps they'd taken and at what elevation. And then you'd add that this capability had the potential to help them intelligently manage and upgrade their rutabaga sales.

Most of all, they would probably be flabbergasted that such an incredible device was improved and released anew every year. (They might be disappointed that you didn’t keep your older watches as makeshift tourniquets for the traumatic finger injuries that were so common among garment workers.) They might even wonder if it was necessary. The Series 6 was such an amazing device! It could perform such miracles! And rubles are so tight...

“Papa,” you could say in response. “The new Apple Watch Series 7 represents a serious upgrade over the already fantastic Apple Watch Series 6. Let me tell you how.”

And Papa would look on in wonder.

“First of all, the watch has been redesigned with a flatter screen and flatter edges to look more like Apple’s signature iPad and iPhone lineup, adding more coherence to the brand’s already highly sophisticated visual identity.”

And Papa would nod.

“Second, the screen is bigger. That bigger screen, in combination with a thinner bezel — you know all about bezels, from Uncle’s shop? — will allow even more pixels, and I’ll explain what a pixel is later, to be shown at once. That means the images you see on the watch look better. The larger retina display is 20% more screen area than Series 6, which means for the first time on an Apple Watch, there’s room for a keyboard to type. Being able to type to reply to a text message is one of the features many watch users desperately wanted."

And Papa would make a small noise of appreciation.

"And there are more colors."


Then, Papa would look at you with something close to understanding. “Yes,” he would say. “If you get me some of these watches, I am sure I can sell them. But how much should I sell them for? 5 cents? I'm thinking 8 cents at the most.”

And you would respond by showing him this handy chart.


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