London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Thursday, Aug 28, 2025

The prince, his valet and a Saudi billionaire: meritocracy in action

The prince, his valet and a Saudi billionaire: meritocracy in action

Poor HRH. Why must misfortune dog him, when his only crime is a passion for lovely things paid for by other people?
One of my favourite modern curiosities is the “diversity and inclusion” page on the official website of the British royal family. “We are proud to champion diversity throughout the organisation,” this auto-satirical cri de coeur runs. “We employ and reward the very best talent, regardless of gender, race, ethnic or national origin, disability, religion, sexual orientation or age. And that’s how we seek out future potential too, recruiting from the widest available pool. Our approach to recruitment and selection is fair, open and based purely on merit.”

On what, sorry? If your reflexive response to this is to cackle “BUT YOU’RE LITERALLY A HEREDITARY MONARCHY, YOU MAD BASTARDS”, then please: just relax. Simply allow the sentiment to splash on to you, like royal urine into a sample bottle that a valet is holding, and realise that we live in times where “diversity” can mean whatever the firm talking about it wants it to mean. In this case, a commitment to getting more black servants. (You may recall that the House of Windsor did have one mixed-race senior manager, but she and her husband left the organisation last year to take up a position with Netflix.) So yes, it doesn’t matter that this “firm” is one where – by law – you only get the big jobs because of who your parents are. As for that bit about “recruiting from the widest available pool”, you should simply read it as a reference to having made a mildly concerted effort to finally stop interbreeding with their cousins. “We would never want a certain type,” this advanced bollocks insists. “The key is to be individual and different.”

Which brings us to Michael Fawcett, Prince Charles’s longtime closest aide, who has been accused of being involved in flogging a CBE and the promise of a knighthood and citizenship to a Saudi billionaire who paid £1.5m for some windows and woods and whatnot in a couple of the Prince of Wales’s Scottish residences. Charles himself presented the CBE to Mahfouz Marei Mubarak bin Mahfouz in a private ceremony, presumably under the strong impression that he was gilding the Saudi billionaire purely on merit. Mahfouz, by the way, denies any wrongdoing. Indeed, according to Clarence House this morning, even Prince Charles has “no knowledge” of this scandal. Doesn’t he read the papers? Maybe it’s one of Fawcett’s many eclectic responsibilities to read them to him.

Fawcett, I note, has “temporarily stepped down” from whichever confected role he currently occupies. Do believe that it will be temporary, because history shows us that whenever Michael steps down – as he has twice previously, following allegations of bullying and for fencing royal gifts (an internal inquiry cleared him of financial misconduct) – a way is always found for him to step right back up. Famously, Charles attaches indispensable qualities to the man who used to squeeze toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. That’s actually not a euphemism, though I seem to remember people at one time thought it was. (It was Fawcett who once held Charles’s urine sample pot for him too, after HRH had hurt his arm by lifting a finger or something.)

At the time of these donations, Fawcett was working to secure funding for Dumfries House, for which Charles also pantingly accepted the loan of 17 paintings, apparently valued at £217m, from a sublebrity gold bullion dealer. Charles has already raised more than £45m on turning Dumfries into his charity headquarters. The prince wrote to this donor that the paintings would “provide us with much-needed security as an asset for the charity if things ever get tough”. What’s not to love about the idea that royal financial security is “much-needed”, or indeed about the notion that it was best Charles enjoyed the paintings for now, keeping them in his back pocket in case “things ever get tough” for his charity.

And now this. Poor HRH. Why must misfortune dog him, when his only crime is a passion for lovely things paid for by other people? Albeit for huge amounts of them. I say his only crime – Fawcett and Charles have this week been reported to police by Republic, the anti-monarchy activists, for suspected breach of the Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925, so we shall see where that goes.

Just kidding! Arguably, the two best things going for Prince Charles these days are that he’s not Prince Andrew (who associated with a known paedophile and is accused of worse); and that his institution is under constant criticism from Prince Harry and Meghan (who many people seem to despise even more than paedophiles). Ultimately, nothing very bad will happen to Charles while his mother remains alive. I’m sure he’ll become king “purely on merit”. But after that … well, one can’t help feeling all bets are off for Charles III, for whom the waters of the talent pool look increasingly choppy.
Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
Bruce Willis Relocated Due to Advanced Dementia
French and Korean Nuclear Majors Clash As EU Launches Foreign Subsidy Probe
EU Stands Firm on Digital Rules as Trump Warns of Retaliation
Getting Ready for the 3rd Time in Its History, Germany Approves Voluntary Military Service for Teenagers
Argentine President Javier Milei Evacuated After Stones Thrown During Campaign Event
Denmark Confronts U.S. Diplomat Over Covert Trump-Linked Influence in Greenland
Starmer Should Back Away from ECHR, Says Jack Straw
Trump Demands RICO Charges Against George Soros and Son for Funding Violent Protests
Taylor Swift Announces Engagement to NFL Star Travis Kelce
France May Need IMF Bailout, Warns Finance Minister
Chinese AI Chipmaker Cambricon Posts Record Profit as Beijing Pushes Pivot from Nvidia
After the Shock of Defeat, Iranians Yearn for Change
Ukraine Finally Allows Young Men Aged Eighteen to Twenty-Two to Leave the Country
The Porn Remains, Privacy Disappears: How Britain Broke the Internet in Ten Days
YouTube Altered Content by Artificial Intelligence – Without Permission
Welcome to The Definition of Insanity: Germany Edition
Just a reminder, this is Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris.
Spotify’s Strange Move: The Feature Nobody Asked For – Returns
Manhunt in Australia: Armed Anti-Government Suspect Kills Police Officers Sent to Arrest Him
China Launches World’s Most Powerful Neutrino Detector
How Beijing-Linked Networks Shape Elections in New York City
Ukrainian Refugee Iryna Zarutska Fled War To US, Stabbed To Death
Elon Musk Sues Apple and OpenAI Over Alleged App Store Monopoly
2 Australian Police Shot Dead In Encounter In Rural Victoria State
Vietnam Evacuates Hundreds of Thousands as Typhoon Kajiki Strikes; China’s Sanya Shuts Down
UK Government Delays Decision on China’s Proposed London Embassy Amid Concerns Over Redacted Plans
A 150-Year Tradition to Be Abolished? Uproar Over the Popular Central Park Attraction
A new faith called Robotheism claims artificial intelligence isn’t just smart but actually God itself
Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner Purchases Third Property Amid Housing Tax Reforms Debate
HSBC Switzerland Ends Relationships with Over 1,000 Clients from Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Qatar, and Egypt
Sharia Law Made Legally Binding in Austria Despite Warnings Over 'Incompatible' Values
Italian Facebook Group Sharing Intimate Images Without Consent Shut Down Amid Police Investigation
Dutch Foreign Minister Resigns Amid Deadlock Over Israel Sanctions
Trump and Allies Send Messages of Support to Ukraine on Independence Day Amid Ongoing Conflict
China Reels as Telegram Chat Group Shares Hidden-Camera Footage of Women and Children
Sam Nicoresti becomes first transgender comedian to win Edinburgh Comedy Award
Builders uncover historic human remains in Lancashire house renovation
Australia Wants to Tax Your Empty Bedrooms
MotoGP Cameraman Narrowly Avoids Pedro Acosta Crash at Hungarian Grand Prix
FBI Investigates John Bolton Over Classified Documents in High-Profile Raids
Report reveals OpenAI pitched national ChatGPT Plus subscription to UK ministers
Labour set to freeze income tax thresholds in long-term 'stealth' tax raid
Coca‑Cola explores sale of Costa coffee chain
Trial hears dog walker was chased and fatally stabbed by trio
Restaurateur resigns from government hospitality council over tax criticism
Spanish City funfair shut after serious ride injury
Suspected arson at Ilford restaurant leaves three in critical condition
Tottenham beat Manchester City to go top of Premier League
Bank holiday heatwave to hit 30°C before remnants of Hurricane Erin arrive
UK to deploy immigration advisers to West Africa to block fake visas
×