London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Saturday, Nov 15, 2025

Scientists Have a Hack for Having More Sex in Long-Term Relationships

Scientists Have a Hack for Having More Sex in Long-Term Relationships

Anyone who's been in a long-term relationship knows that sex and desire wane over time, but there may be a relatively easy way to bring the spark back. 
Anyone who's been in a long-term relationship knows that sex and desire can wane over time, even as you feel more emotionally intimate with the other person.

According to a new study, though, there's a relatively easy way to bring the spark back.

As spotted by Psychology Today, a recent paper in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships examines the concepts of closeness, otherness, and self-expansion — in other words, the emotional intimacy partners feel, the feeling of learning something new about one's partner, and the act of sharing new experiences with a partner.

According to the study, conducted by psychology researchers at Toronto's York University, emotional closeness alone isn't enough to sustain sexual desire in long-term relationships (the median relationship length in the cohorts studied was nine years.) To boost desire, they found, partners need to re-establish otherness, or a psychological distancing that allows them to see their significant other in a new light.

That sense of otherness can be achieved, the Canadian researchers found, via undertaking self-expansion together. Couples can make that happen a number of different ways, from going dancing together or visiting new attractions to probing each others often-unshared opinions about big life issues. Basically, the trick seems to be for couples to insert themselves into novel and challenging situations to regain a sense of freshness.

To be fair, the examples listed in Psychology Today are somewhat normie, which reflects the study's three test subject cohorts, which were overwhelmingly white and straight. But it's not hard to come up with alternative options to fit each individual couple. The "visiting new places" example in particular is ripe with possibility, especially considering the psychological research backing up the widely-believed concept that vacation sex really is better.

One of this paper's authors, York University researcher Amy Muise, also worked on a study last year that found the benefits from self-expansion can be boosted by planning and following through with date ideas. That might sound like a chore, but in practice, per the researchers' findings, it can lead to the feeling of shared newness that gets the fires burning.

While sex and relationships are both topics that vary wildly from person to person, a blueprint for how to navigate relationships after the initial honeymoon phases could be helpful for a range of relationships — and this research-backed advice is so simple, it certainly doesn't hurt to try.
Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
UK Urges Poland to Choose Swedish Submarines in Multi-Billion € Defence Bid
US Border Czar Tom Homan Declares UK No Longer a ‘Friend’ Amid Intelligence Rift
UK Announces Reversal of Income Tax Hike Plans Ahead of Budget
Starmer Faces Mounting Turmoil as Leaked Briefings Ignite Leadership Plot Rumours
UK Commentator Sami Hamdi Returns Home After US Visa Revocation and Detention
UK Eyes Denmark-Style Asylum Rules in Major Migration Shift
UK Signals Intelligence Freeze Amid US Maritime Drug-Strike Campaign
TikTok Awards UK & Ireland 2025 Celebrates Top Creators Including Max Klymenko as Creator of the Year
UK Growth Nearly Stalls at 0.1% in Q3 as Cyberattack Halts Car Production
Apple Denied Permission to Appeal UK App Store Ruling, Faces Over £1bn Liability
UK Chooses Wylfa for First Small Modular Reactors, Drawing Sharp U.S. Objection
Starmer Faces Growing Labour Backlash as Briefing Sparks Authority Crisis
Reform UK Withdraws from BBC Documentary Amid Legal Storm Over Trump Speech Edit
UK Prime Minister Attempts to Reassert Authority Amid Internal Labour Leadership Drama
UK Upholds Firm Rules on Stablecoins to Shield Financial System
Brussels Divided as UK-EU Reset Stalls Over Budget Access
Prince Harry’s Remembrance Day Essay Expresses Strong Regret at Leaving Britain
UK Unemployment Hits 5% as Wage Growth Slows, Paving Way for Bank of England Rate Cut
Starmer Warns of Resurgent Racism in UK Politics as He Vows Child-Poverty Reforms
UK Grocery Inflation Slows to 4.7% as Supermarkets Launch Pre-Christmas Promotions
UK Government Backs the BBC amid Editing Scandal and Trump Threat of Legal Action
UK Assessment Mis-Estimated Fallout From Palestine Action Ban, Records Reveal
UK Halts Intelligence Sharing with US Amid Lethal Boat-Strike Concerns
King Charles III Leads Britain in Remembrance Sunday Tribute to War Dead
UK Retail Sales Growth Slows as Households Hold Back Ahead of Black Friday and Budget
Shell Pulls Out of Two UK Floating Wind Projects Amid Renewables Retreat
Viagogo Hit With £15 Million Tax Bill After HMRC Transfer-Pricing Inquiry
Jaguar Land Rover Cyberattack Pinches UK GDP, Bank of England Says
UK and Germany Sound Alarm on Russian-Satellite Threat to Critical Infrastructure
Former Prince Andrew Faces U.S. Congressional Request for Testimony Amid Brexit of Royal Title
BBC Director-General Tim Davie and News CEO Deborah Turness Resign Amid Editing Controversy
Tom Cruise Arrives by Helicopter at UK Scientology Fundraiser Amid Local Protests
Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson Face Fresh UK Probes Amid Royal Fallout
Mothers Link Teen Suicides to AI Chatbots in Growing Legal Battle
UK Government to Mirror Denmark’s Tough Immigration Framework in Major Policy Shift
UK Government Turns to Denmark-Style Immigration Reforms to Overhaul Border Rules
UK Chancellor Warned Against Cutting Insulation Funding as Budget Looms
UK Tenant Complaints Hit Record Levels as Rental Sector Faces Mounting Pressure
Apple to Pay Google About One Billion Dollars Annually for Gemini AI to Power Next-Generation Siri
UK Signals Major Shift as Nuclear Arms Race Looms
BBC’s « Celebrity Traitors UK » Finale Breaks Records with 11.1 Million Viewers
UK Spy Case Collapse Highlights Implications for UK-Taiwan Strategic Alignment
On the Road to the Oscars? Meghan Markle to Star in a New Film
A Vote Worth a Trillion Dollars: Elon Musk’s Defining Day
AI Researchers Claim Human-Level General Intelligence Is Already Here
President Donald Trump Challenges Nigeria with Military Options Over Alleged Christian Killings
Nancy Pelosi Finally Announces She Will Not Seek Re-Election, Signalling End of Long Congressional Career
UK Pre-Budget Blues and Rate-Cut Concerns Pile Pressure on Pound
ITV Warns of Nine-Per-Cent Drop in Q4 Advertising Revenue Amid Budget Uncertainty
National Grid Posts Slightly Stronger-Than-Expected Half-Year Profit as Regulatory Investments Drive Growth
×