London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Friday, Aug 01, 2025

A no-feel Sexxit? UK reintroduces sprawling casual-sex ban amid nationwide lockdown ramp-up

A no-feel Sexxit? UK reintroduces sprawling casual-sex ban amid nationwide lockdown ramp-up

The UK government has warned horny citizens that getting down with someone who lives outside their household will violate strict new lockdown measures which have reanimated an unpopular policy from earlier this summer.
British couples who don’t live together have once again been banned from bonking by London’s coronavirus restrictions, which - as of Friday - forbid individuals living in “high risk” Tiers Two and Three regions from staying overnight at the house of someone outside their “bubble.” Unlike similar regulations rolled out over the summer, even individuals in an “established relationship” are strongly discouraged from getting it on.

The new rules prohibit mixing of households indoors unless the individuals involved are members of a support or childcare “bubble.” Traveling to the next town to have a sleepover with your significant other of several years is right out, as is taking home that hot little number you met at the bar (which closed, as Covid-19 diktat requires, at 10pm) - at least, for all who live under Tiers Two and Three, designated “high” and “very high” risk areas for Covid-19 transmission.

As of this week, Tiers Two and Three encompass all of London, Essex County, and most of the north of England, as 10 Downing Street added some 26.7 million people to the growing majority of Britons who will be forbidden from hooking up with their lovers.

“The purpose of the measures we’ve put in place is to break the chain of transmission between households,” a spokesman for PM Boris Johnson stated on Friday, explaining why there was no exemption for “established relationships” in areas designated Tiers Two and Three. “You should mix with your own household only unless you’ve formed a support bubble.”

While the spokesperson admitted that “obviously that does apply to some couples,” he reiterated that “there is greater transmission of the virus indoors” - words of wisdom that perhaps could be interpreted as encouraging virus-crossed lovers to try their hand (or other body parts) at al-fresco loving.

Perhaps embarrassed to probe even more deeply into residents’ sex lives, the Department of Health has also avoided trying to pin down what constitutes an “established” couple, other than to suggest that those “in the early stages of a relationship” should be careful to obey social distancing.

“If you intend to have close contact with someone, you should discuss how you can help to prevent risks of transmission as a couple, for example, by ensuring you are both avoiding close contact with people you do not live with,” they stated.

While the UK’s strict lockdown requirements initially banned people from different households from having sex in June, triggering widespread indignation, Downing Street relaxed the ban later that month, “freeing” individuals living alone to get busy without government interference as long as one of them lived alone, and made the loopholes official last month. Under the revised regulations, people in an “established relationship” were allowed to enjoy each others’ company without the risk of Big Brother breaking them up - though technically “casual sex” was still illegal.

Health Secretary Matt Hancock has repeatedly struggled to defend London’s fluid policies without blushing and giggling, and so-called ‘Professor Lockdown’ Neil Ferguson dealt the absurd rules at least a temporary death blow when he was caught violating the regulations he had championed in May to engage in extramarital trysts with his lover.

However, the recently-introduced tier system, with its color coding so reminiscent of the US’ “terror warning level,” has brought Big Brother back into the bedroom in full force.
Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
Trump Administration Finalizes Broad Tariff Increases on Global Trade Partners
J.K. Rowling Limits Public Engagements Citing Safety Fears
JD.com Launches €2.2 Billion Bid for German Electronics Retailer Ceconomy
Azerbaijan Proceeds with Plan to Legalise Casinos on Artificial Islands
Former Judge Charged After Drunk Driving Crash Kills Comedian in Brazil
Jeff Bezos hasn’t paid a dollar in taxes for decades. He makes billions and pays $0 in taxes, LEGALLY
China Increases Use of Exit Bans Amid Rising U.S. Tensions
IMF Upgrades Global Growth Forecast as Weaker Dollar Supports Outlook
Procter & Gamble to Raise U.S. Prices to Offset One‑Billion‑Dollar Tariff Cost
House Republicans Move to Defund OECD Over Global Tax Dispute
Botswana Seeks Controlling Stake in De Beers as Anglo American Prepares Exit
Trump Administration Proposes Repeal of Obama‑Era Endangerment Finding, Dismantling Regulatory Basis for CO₂ Emissions Limits
France Opens Criminal Investigation into X Over Algorithm Manipulation Allegations
A family has been arrested in the UK for displaying the British flag
Mel Gibson refuses to work with Robert De Niro, saying, "Keep that woke clown away from me."
Trump Steamrolls EU in Landmark Trade Win: US–EU Trade Deal Imposes 15% Tariff on European Imports
ChatGPT CEO Sam Altman says people share personal info with ChatGPT but don’t know chats can be used as court evidence in legal cases.
The British propaganda channel BBC News lies again.
Deputy attorney general's second day of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell has concluded
Controversial March in Switzerland Features Men Dressed in Nazi Uniforms
Politics is a good business: Barack Obama’s Reported Net Worth Growth, 1990–2025
Thai Civilian Death Toll Rises to 12 in Cambodian Cross-Border Attacks
TSUNAMI: Trump Just Crossed the Rubicon—And There’s No Turning Back
Over 120 Criminal Cases Dismissed in Boston Amid Public Defender Shortage
UN's Top Court Declares Environmental Protection a Legal Obligation Under International Law
"Crazy Thing": OpenAI's Sam Altman Warns Of AI Voice Fraud Crisis In Banking
The Podcaster Who Accidentally Revealed He Earns Over $10 Million a Year
Trump Announces $550 Billion Japanese Investment and New Trade Agreements with Indonesia and the Philippines
US Treasury Secretary Calls for Institutional Review of Federal Reserve Amid AI‑Driven Growth Expectations
UK Government Considers Dropping Demand for Apple Encryption Backdoor
Severe Flooding in South Korea Claims Lives Amid Ongoing Rescue Operations
Japanese Man Discovers Family Connection Through DNA Testing After Decades of Separation
Russia Signals Openness to Ukraine Peace Talks Amid Escalating Drone Warfare
Switzerland Implements Ban on Mammography Screening
Japanese Prime Minister Vows to Stay After Coalition Loses Upper House Majority
Pogacar Extends Dominance with Stage Fifteen Triumph at Tour de France
CEO Resigns Amid Controversy Over Relationship with HR Executive
Man Dies After Being Pulled Into MRI Machine Due to Metal Chain in New York Clinic
NVIDIA Achieves $4 Trillion Valuation Amid AI Demand
US Revokes Visas of Brazilian Corrupted Judges Amid Fake Bolsonaro Investigation
U.S. Congress Approves Rescissions Act Cutting Federal Funding for NPR and PBS
North Korea Restricts Foreign Tourist Access to New Seaside Resort
Brazil's Supreme Court Imposes Radical Restrictions on Former President Bolsonaro
Centrist Criticism of von der Leyen Resurfaces as she Survives EU Confidence Vote
Judge Criticizes DOJ Over Secrecy in Dropping Charges Against Gang Leader
Apple Closes $16.5 Billion Tax Dispute With Ireland
Von der Leyen Faces Setback Over €2 Trillion EU Budget Proposal
UK and Germany Collaborate on Global Military Equipment Sales
Trump Plans Over 10% Tariffs on African and Caribbean Nations
Flying Taxi CEO Reclaims Billionaire Status After Stock Surge
×