London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Wednesday, Sep 17, 2025

They flatter and flirt with single women for money – in China, virtual boyfriends offer intimacy on demand to a career-focused generation

China’s one-child policy created a generation of self-confident women who have a home, and financial security, but lead isolating lives and are looking for love. Some find it online, where they pay men to reassure, advise, and be intimate with them. ‘This is a new mode of womanhood that is unprecedented,’ academic says

Chinese teenager Robin spends hours online chatting to her man, who always has a sympathetic ear for her problems – as long as she’s willing to pay him.

The 19-year-old premedical student has spent more than 1,000 yuan (US$140) speaking to “virtual boyfriends”. These aren’t seedy sex-chat lines, but men who charge for friendly and flirty online communication, from wake-up calls to lengthy text exchanges and video conversations.

“If someone is willing to keep me company and chat, I’m pretty willing to spend money,” said Robin, who didn’t want to give her real name.

The option for intimacy on demand has gained popularity among China’s middle-income young women, who are often focused on careers and have no immediate plans to marry and start a family.

Shops selling virtual friends and partners can be found on Chinese messaging app WeChat or on e-commerce sites such as Taobao. (Taobao is run by Alibaba, owner of the South China Morning Post.) Several virtual boyfriends said most of their customers are single women in their twenties with disposable income.

By day, 22-year-old Zhuansun Xu is a foreign exchange trader in Beijing. By night, he chats with female clients who pay him to be their “boyfriend”, something he has done for the past year.

Young women come to Xu with different needs; some want friendly advice, while others have more romantic requests. “While we’re interacting, I tell myself: I really am her boyfriend, so how can I treat her well?” he said. “But after we’re done, I’ll stop thinking this way.”

Prices start from a few yuan for half an hour of texting, to a few thousand yuan to keep a companion on retainer for phone calls throughout a month.

“People have figured out how to commodify affection,” said Chris KK Tan, an associate professor at Nanjing University who has researched the phenomenon. “This is a new mode of womanhood that is unprecedented in China.”

In the past, many Chinese women could not pursue romance. Sandy To, a sociologist at the University of Hong Kong, said marriage had traditionally been a must in patriarchal Chinese society, but the one-child policy – which came into force in 1979 and limited the size of most families – had created “a generation of self-confident and resourceful women”.

A preference for boys meant decades of sex-selective abortions and abandoned baby girls. China ended its one-child policy in the mid-2010s, but in 2018, the country still had the world’s most skewed gender ratio, at 114 boys born for every 100 girls.

For many women, the policy changed their family dynamics. Parents of female children “raised them as sons”, says Roseann Lake, author of a book on China’s unmarried women. “All of those things that traditionally you needed to find in a man – a house, financial security – they were raised with it,” she says.

Lisa, a 28-year-old executive in Shanghai, has hired virtual boyfriends to act out romantic scenarios through text messaging. “Of course, there were feelings of love, in letting myself feel like I was being loved,” she said, preferring not to use her real name.

“Because I was just buying a service, I don’t feel any guilt towards real people.”

In the World Economic Forum’s 2018 global gender gap report, China ranks 103 out of 149 countries on the overall disparity between men and women. However, that climbs to 86 when ranked solely for economic participation and opportunity.

As their economic situation improves, fewer women are choosing to get married.

China’s marriage rate – the number of marriages per year – has been in decline for the last five years. Last year it reached 7.2 per 1,000 people, according to the National Bureau of Statistics.

Once their basic needs are guaranteed, more women are looking to satisfy their need for “emotional and self-fulfilment”, says Lake.

Although they are materially better off, the lives of many young urban women are “isolating”, says Tan. Most have spent their teenage years studying for the country’s rigorous university entrance exams, at the cost of developing relationships outside school.

Buying virtual boyfriends “is their chance to experiment with love and relationships”, he says.

For Robin and Lisa, virtual companions are appealing because the relationship is convenient. “If I have serious psychological stress, this could make some people think I’m being fussy,” said Robin. “But because I’m giving [the virtual companions] money, they have to reassure me.”

Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
Hong Kong Industry Group Calls for HK$20 Billion Support Fund to Ease Property Market Stress
Joe Biden’s Post-Presidency Speaking Fees Face Weak Demand amid Corporate Reluctance
Charlie Kirk's murder will break the left's hateful cancel tactics
Kash Patel erupts at ‘buffoon’ Sen. Adam Schiff over Russiagate: ‘You are the biggest fraud’
Homeland Security says Emmy speech ‘fanning the flames of hatred’ after Einbinder’s ‘F— ICE’ remark
Charlie Kirk’s Alleged Assassin Tyler Robinson Faces Death Penalty as Charges Formally Announced
Actor, director, environmentalist Robert Redford dies at 89
The conservative right spreads westward: a huge achievement for 'Alternative for Germany' in local elections
JD Vance Says There Is “No Unity” with Those Who Celebrate Charlie Kirk’s Killing, and he is right!
Trump sues the 'New York Times' for an astronomical sum of 15 billion dollars
Florida Hospital Welcomes Its Largest-Ever Baby: Annan, Nearly Fourteen Pounds at Birth
U.S. and Britain Poised to Finalize Over $10 Billion in High-Tech, Nuclear and Defense Deals During Trump State Visit
China Finds Nvidia Violated Antitrust Laws in Mellanox Deal, Deepens Trade Tensions with US
US Air Force Begins Modifications on Qatar-Donated Jet Amid Plans to Use It as Air Force One
Pope Leo Warns of Societal Crisis Over Mega-CEO Pay, Citing Tesla’s Proposed Trillion-Dollar Package
Poland Green-Lights NATO Deployment in Response to Major Russian Drone Incursion
Elon Musk Retakes Lead as World’s Richest After Brief Ellison Surge
U.S. and China Agree on Framework to Shift TikTok to American Ownership
London Daily Podcast: London Massive Pro Democracy Rally, Musk Support, UK Economic Data and Premier League Results Mark Eventful Weekend
This Week in AI: Meta’s Superintelligence Push, xAI’s Ten Billion-Dollar Raise, Genesis AI’s Robotics Ambitions, Microsoft Restructuring, Amazon’s Million-Robot Milestone, and Google’s AlphaGenome Update
Le Pen Tightens the Pressure on Macron as France Edges Toward Political Breakdown
Musk calls for new UK government at huge pro-democracy rally in London, but Britons have been brainwashed to obey instead of fighting for their human rights
Elon Musk responds to post calling for the murder of Erika Kirk, widow of Charlie Kirk: 'Either we fight back or they will kill us'
Czech Republic signs €1.34 billion contract for Leopard 2A8 main battle tanks with delivery from 2028
USA: Office Depot Employees Refused to Print Poster in Memory of Charlie Kirk – and Were Fired
Proposed U.S. Bill Would Allow Civil Suits Against Judges Who Release Repeat Violent Offenders
Penske Media Sues Google Over “AI Overviews,” Claiming It Uses Journalism Without Consent and Destroys Traffic
Indian Student Engineers Propose “Project REBIRTH” to Protect Aircraft from Crashes Using AI, Airbags and Smart Materials
French Debt Downgrade Piles Pressure on Macron’s New Prime Minister
US and UK Near Tech, Nuclear and Whisky Deals Ahead of Trump Trip
One in Three Europeans Now Uses TikTok, According to the Chinese Tech Giant
Could AI Nursing Robots Help Healthcare Staffing Shortages?
NATO Deploys ‘Eastern Sentry’ After Russian Drones Violate Polish Airspace
Anesthesiologist Left Operation Mid-Surgery to Have Sex with Nurse
Tens of Thousands of Young Chinese Get Up Every Morning and Go to Work Where They Do Nothing
The New Life of Novak Djokovic
The German Owner of Politico Mathias Döpfner Eyes Further U.S. Media Expansion After Axel Springer Restructuring
Suspect Arrested: Utah Man in Custody for Charlie Kirk’s Fatal Shooting
In a politically motivated trial: Bolsonaro Sentenced to 27 Years for Plotting Coup After 2022 Defeat
German police raid AfD lawmaker’s offices in inquiry over Chinese payments
Turkish authorities seize leading broadcaster amid fraud and tax investigation
Volkswagen launches aggressive strategy to fend off Chinese challenge in Europe’s EV market
ChatGPT CEO signals policy to alert authorities over suicidal youth after teen’s death
The British legal mafia hit back: Banksy mural of judge beating protester is scrubbed from London court
Surpassing Musk: Larry Ellison becomes the richest man in the world
Embarrassment for Starmer: He fired the ambassador photographed on Epstein’s 'pedophile island'
Manhunt after 'skilled sniper' shot Charlie Kirk. Footage: Suspect running on rooftop during panic
Effective Protest Results: Nepal’s Prime Minister Resigns as Youth-Led Unrest Shakes the Nation
Qatari prime minister says Netanyahu ‘killed any hope’ for Israeli hostages
King Charles and Prince Harry Share First In-Person Moment in 19 Months
×