London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Saturday, Feb 14, 2026

Phillip Schofield announcement: How it feels when your partner comes out as gay

Phillip Schofield's decision to come out as gay has been widely praised, but thoughts have also focused on his wife of 27 years, Stephanie.

He said she had been "incredible" in her support, although acknowledged "the hurt that I am causing to my family".

But like coming out, discovering your husband is gay can also be incredibly difficult, say women who have been in similar situations.

"You doubt everything you've ever believed in your life," says one woman who found out her husband was gay six years ago.

Caroline - who did not want to be identified - still lives with her husband of 18 years for the sake of their four children, but she says that she is "in a hurry" for when they can sell the house and live apart.

"We get on really well as a family," she says. "As a couple, it's destroyed our relationship.

"We do still do family things, we go to the cinema, we will have family meals.

"But I do go through my stages where I feel the hurt and betrayal more than at other times. And the life I had planned is gone."

Caroline says she knew there was "something seriously wrong in her marriage" but did not know what until she discovered - by accident - an email showing he had been meeting up with other men.

"When I found that email and when he told me parts of his story that he did share, that was like little pieces of a puzzle falling into place," she says.

"Most of the time I feel sorry for the future we had together. But at the same time I don't really resent him; it's a truth about him, it's not a choice.

"I do think he made a choice to make me part of his cover story so that hurts, but I accept it's not something he could have changed."

Comedian Sarah Bowles, 54, had been married seven years when she first started having suspicions that her then-husband might be gay.

For religious reasons the couple had waited until marriage before they had sex and Sarah says they "had moments where we were very happy".

"He was a handsome man. Many people said I had it all," she says.

Sarah, from Kings Cross in London - who three years ago was even interviewed by Phillip Schofield on This Morning about the issue - says her suspicions were first raised when she found gay pornography and numbers on telephone bills.

Later, it was through her volunteering work with the Samaritans helpline where, as a telephone counsellor, she had conversations with gay, married callers and noticed parallels with her own husband.

"They all described what their whole life was like and how they would get time away from the family. I realised that was what was happening in my house."

Sarah says she worked it out just before her husband was outed by someone who had been blackmailing him.

"It was a really, really gentle way of finding out," she says. "If I'd just been startled [with the information], I suspect I would have had a breakdown."

After realising, she says: "I was like, now it makes sense. And I was very worried about my husband's mental health.

"The truth was I did still love him. My main concern was that he would be OK."

Sarah says she is now "at peace with what happened" and enjoying her comedy career by "taking the mick" out of the situation.

Amy, 33, who lives near Belfast, was married for six years when she found out in 2017 - by seeing a Facebook message - that her ex-husband had been having a relationship with another man.

She says: "I took myself out for a drive, I went to a friend's house for a few hours then I went back. He left the house that evening."

In later conversations with him, Amy learned that he had known he was gay but he felt as if the feelings were "wrong".

She says: "If they leave you for another man, [you think] he couldn't possibly have ever loved me, he couldn't have ever found me attractive.

"Anyone experiencing feelings like these need to be encouraged to acknowledge them and not enter into a life that they cannot maintain long term. That's not healthy for them or the people around them.

"It's not wrong to be gay but it is wrong to lie and deceive people."


'Second-guess yourself'


Broadcaster and psychotherapist Lucy Beresford says the impact on the relationship depends on how the information is revealed - for example, whether it is the gay person sitting their partner down, or whether it's discovered through cheating.

"Either way, it's going to turn your world upside down," she says. "When something emotional happens you often do want to turn to your partner to help you, but yet if it's your partner, that can make you feel very lonely and isolated.

"It can make you second-guess yourself, how didn't I spot this, how could I not see the signs. There's a lot of self-doubt.

"Your self-esteem can be affected. You're in a sense being rejected, but not to do with anything to do with who you are."

Lucy advises couples to keep communicating.

"You will have lots of questions and issues to talk about. I would suggest the partner who has this news seeks some emotional support themselves."

And she says it is possible in some circumstances to maintain a friendship, but both partners need to be "open and honest" and pay attention to "what feels most authentic to them".

Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
President Donald Trump and Hip-Hop’s Political Realignment: Pardons, Public Endorsements, and the Struggle Over Cultural Influence
China’s EV Makers Face Mandatory Return to Physical Buttons and Door Handles in Driver-Distraction Safety Overhaul
Goldman Sachs and DP World Executive Resignations: Elite-Reputation Risk and Corporate Governance Fallout From the Epstein Disclosures
‘Amelia’: The UK Government’s Anti-Extremism Game Villain Who Became a Protest Symbol
Peter Mandelson Asked to Testify Before US Congress Over Jeffrey Epstein Links
Walmart's Earnings and UK Economic Data Highlight Upcoming Financial Trends
UK Green Party Considering Proposal to Legalize Heroin for an Inclusive Society
SpaceX's New Vision: Lunar City Takes Precedence Over Mars Colonization
OpenAI and DeepCent Superintelligence Race: Artificial General Intelligence and AI Agents as a National Security Arms Race
Document Suggests Prince Andrew Shared UK Briefing on Afghan Investment Opportunities with Jeffrey Epstein
We will protect them from the digital Wild West.’ Another country will ban social media for under-16s
McDonald's Shortens Breakfast Hours in Australia Due to Egg Shortage
Heineken announces cut of 6,000 jobs due to declining beer demand
Beijing Brands UK Hong Kong Visa Expansion ‘Despicable and Reprehensible’ After Jimmy Lai Sentencing
Tesco Chief Warns UK Is ‘Sleepwalking’ Toward a Joblessness Crisis
Trump’s ‘Act of Great Stupidity’ Comment on UK Chagos Deal Reverberates Through Diplomacy and Strategy
New U.S. filings say Jeffrey Epstein repaid Les Wexner one hundred million dollars after theft allegation
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick acknowledges 2012 visit to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island as lawmakers scrutinise past ties
Helsing and Stark Defence loitering-munition drones and Germany’s race to industrialise battlefield autonomy
UK orders deletion of Courtsdesk court-data archive, reigniting the fight over who controls public justice records
UK Police Review Fresh Claims Involving Prince Andrew as Senior Royals Respond to Epstein Files
Keir Starmer’s Premiership Faces Unprecedented Strain as Epstein Fallout Deepens
Starmer Vows to Stay in Office as UK Government Faces Turmoil After Epstein Fallout
China and UK Signal Tentative Reset with Commitment to Steadier, Professionally Managed Relations
UK Confirms Imminent Increase in ETA Fee to £20 as Entry Rules Tighten
UK Signals Possible Seizure of Russia-Linked ‘Shadow Fleet’ Tanker in Escalation of Sanctions Enforcement
Epstein Scandal Piles Unprecedented Pressure on UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s Leadership
UK’s ‘Most Romantic Village’ Celebrates Valentine’s Day and Explores the Festival’s Rich History
The Implications of Expanding Voting Rights to Non-EU Foreign Residents in France
Ghislaine Maxwell to Testify Before US Congress on February 9
Al.com Acquired by Crypto.com Founder for $70 Million
Apple iPhone Lockdown Mode blocks FBI data access in journalist device seizure
Belgium: Man Charged with Rape After Faking Payment to Sex Worker
KPMG Urges Auditor to Relay AI Cost Savings
US and Iran to Begin Nuclear Talks in Oman
Winklevoss-Led Gemini to Slash a Quarter of Jobs and Exit European and Australian Markets
Canada Opens First Consulate in Greenland Amid Rising Geopolitical Tensions
China unveils plans for a 'Death Star' capable of launching missile strikes from space
NASA allows astronauts to take smartphones on upcoming missions to capture special moments.
Trump administration to launch TrumpRx.gov for direct drug purchases
Investigation Launched at Winter Olympics Over Ski Jumpers Injecting Hyaluronic Acid
U.S. State Department Issues Urgent Travel Warning for Citizens to Leave Iran Immediately
Wall Street Erases All Gains of 2026; Bitcoin Plummets 14% to $63,000
Epstein Case Documents Reignite Global Scrutiny of Political and Business Elites
Eighty-one-year-old man in the United States fatally shoots Uber driver after scam threat
UK Royal Family Faces Intensifying Strain as Epstein-Linked Revelations Rock the Institution
Political Censorship: French Prosecutors Raid Musk’s X Offices in Paris
AI Invented “Hot Springs” — Tourists Arrived and Were Shocked
Tech Mega-Donors Power Trump-Aligned Fundraising Surge to $429 Million Ahead of 2026 Midterms
UK Pharma Watchdog Rules Sanofi Breached Industry Code With RSV Vaccine Claims Against Pfizer
×