London Daily

Focus on the big picture.
Friday, Aug 21, 2026

A competition to see who can come up with the best Lexphillie held in Dubuque, Iowa.

A competition to see who can come up with the best Lexphillie held in Dubuque, Iowa.

Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as "you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The year's winning submissions are........

*A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.*

*The batteries were given out free of charge.*

*A dentist and a manicurist married.*
*They fought tooth and nail.*

*A will is a dead giveaway.*

*A boiled egg is hard to beat.*

*Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.*

*Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left* *side was cut off ?*
*He's all right now.*

*A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.*

*The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully re-covered.*

*He had a photographic memory which was never developed.*

*When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.*

*Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.*

*FOR THOSE PEOPLE WITH A LITERARY SENSE OF HUMOR*
Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
Bitcoin Surges Toward $80,000 as Short Squeeze and ETF Inflows Ignite Crypto Rally
Petrol Bombs Set Luxury Cars Alight Outside Birmingham Wedding as Police Hunt Three Men
Twenty-Nine US States Take Meta to Trial Over Alleged Child Addiction on Instagram and Facebook
Former Scottish National Party Executive Peter Murrell Jailed for Five Years Over £400,000 Embezzlement
Moderna and Merck's Personalized Cancer Vaccine Succeeds in Historic Late-Stage Melanoma Trial
Prince Harry and Meghan to Move Back to Britain With Their Children
England and Wales Have Fewer Than 1,800 Prison Places Left for Men
Royal Navy to Accelerate DragonFire Laser Deployment Against Growing Drone Threat
Northern Ireland Approves Five Hundred Million Pound Belfast Harbour Expansion
Great British Railways Takes Full Control of Avanti West Coast as Rail Nationalisation Reaches Final Stage
UK AI Safety Institute Calls for Mandatory Security Audits of Advanced AI Models
Scotland Secures Three Billion Pounds for Floating Offshore Wind Hub in Aberdeen
Government Overrides Local Councils to Approve Green Belt Housing Across Southern England
UK and EU Move Toward Mutual Recognition of Food Standards to Ease Cross-Channel Trade
Government Plans Multibillion-Pound Private Healthcare Expansion to Cut NHS Surgical Backlogs
Bank of England Signals Faster Rate Cuts as Inflation Falls Below the Two Percent Target
Suspected People Smuggler Arrested After Investigation Identified Him
Children's Doctors Warn That Vaping Can Lead Young People to Smoking
Hundreds of Thousands of Students Receive GCSE and Vocational Results Across England, Wales and Northern Ireland
Here Is What Can Never Happen in Your Country: Taiwan Is Giving Money to All Its People Because It Collected Too Much Tax
UK Inflation Rises to 2.9% as Energy Bills Jump
UK Issues New Conduct Guide for Asylum Seekers on Consent and Respect
Moderna Shares Surge After Positive Personalized Skin Cancer Trial Results
UK Markets Watch US National Debt Surpass Forty Trillion Dollars
UK Broadcasters Urge Government to Invest in Digital Participation and Broadband
CVC Capital Partners and Standard Life Launch Two Billion Pound Pension Risk Transfer Venture
UK Private Sector Productivity Growth Accelerates in Second Quarter
UK Foreign Secretary Ed Miliband Condemns Israeli E1 Settlement Tender
UK Watchdog Investigates Trainline, Virgin Atlantic and RED Driving School Over Hidden Fees
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Plan Move to Private Home Outside London
UK Retail Sentiment Improves as Summer Spending Boosts Consumer Confidence
UK Aid Cuts Draw Warnings From Charities Over Humanitarian Consequences
UK Financial Conduct Authority Issues Guidance for Motor Finance Redress Scheme
UK Met Office Launches Aviation Programme to Reduce Climate Impact of Persistent Contrails
Former UK Civil Service Chief Received Record 500,000 Pound Severance Payment
West Midlands to Bring Bus Network Under Public Franchising Model
UK Government Drops Plan to Relax Affordable Housing Requirements After Backlash
UK Reaffirms Military Support for Ukraine Despite Russian Hybrid Warfare Threats
UK Technology Sector Expands Nearly 8 Percent as Digital Industry Outpaces Wider Economy
UK Drought Threatens Harvests Across England and Wales as Food Inflation Risks Persist
UK Government Pledges 442 Million Pounds to End Rough Sleeping by Christmas
UK Government Signals Willingness to Reconsider Digital Services Tax Amid US Tariff Threats
UK Inflation Rises to 2.9 Percent as Energy Costs Threaten Economic Recovery
NHS Hospitals Cancel Surgeries as Extreme Heat Pushes Ward Temperatures Above 40 Degrees Celsius
UK Heatwave Forces Emergency Measures as Wildfire Risk, Hospital Disruption and Drought Intensify
A Sleepless Night on Wall Street: Nasdaq to Begin Nearly Round-the-Clock Trading
"The First in the World": 69-Year-Old Protested Artificial Intelligence—and Went to Jail
Ukraine's Ousted Defence Minister Calls for Wartime Presidential Election
UK Marks Ten Years of Night Tube as London Weekend Usage Exceeds Eighty-One Thousand Journeys a Night
Met Office Issues Thunderstorm Warnings Across Northern Ireland Over Flash-Flood Risk
×